Why They Pull Away When You Open Up

You finally open your heart. You share something real, something vulnerable. And then poof... they go cold.

It’s confusing, right? You wonder: Was I too honest? Did I scare them off? So you shut down. You start building walls again, telling yourself, Maybe I am too much.

Let’s break this down.

When someone pulls away right after you open up, it’s not a reflection of your worth. It’s a reflection of their capacity.

Here’s what might really be going on:

1. They Have an Avoidant Attachment Style When intimacy feels threatening, avoidants retreat. The closer you get, the more they back off.

2. Your Vulnerability Triggers Their Shame If they haven’t done their own healing, your emotional openness feels like a mirror they don’t want to look into.

3. They Never Planned to Go Deep Harsh truth: some people are just in it for the fun. The second it gets real, they run.

So let me ask you: Are you shrinking yourself to keep someone who can’t meet you emotionally?

Opening up is not the problem. Picking people who aren’t emotionally equipped is.

Next time someone pulls away, don’t chase. Observe. Watch how they handle your truth. And then decide if this is a person you want to build something real with.

Want to go deeper into emotional patterns and healthy communication? Follow my podcast Relationship Rescue and get exclusive relationship coaching tools on my Patreon.

Much Love,

Life & Leadership Coach
🎙 Host of the Relationship Rescue Podcast
www.coachvalerymolone.com